| So the first week of class has come and gone.. WOW... softball testing is today.. and practice starts officially tommorrow, and im not gonna lie.. im experiencing some anxiety...... Rebecaa says it because ive attached some emotions to the whole thing from last year.. but i dunno... i love the girls so much... and the freshmen seem really cool.. once we get them to open up... but at the same time.. i dunno.. im kinda worried....... i can't let myself slip like i did last year..... i cant lose all my faith... because truthfully without God.. im noone.. and im gonna fail at everything i try to fix... this summer's incidence with the police being a prime example.... getting smacked upside the head is never a fun experience.. but when God does it.. boy is it powerful.... this past summer.. even though it hasn't been the most greatest summer.. and a lot of shitty things happened... i learned so much.... and the main thing that this summer echoes is GOD's LOVE for me.. Yes... even with organic chemistry, the work situation, family issues, the arrest, multiple boy problems, and unresolved issues.... ive seen gods work in my life.. he supplies me with the friends, family, and the courage to keep going... even though sometimes i forget that i have those amazing people behind me... my faith needs work.. im not gonna lie.. i seem to question everything.. including God's power.. which doesn't make much sense.. i used to be so sure of everything.. confident with myself and my ablities... now i just cling on for dear life.. and hope everything works out okay.. and that sucks... so here is to a new school year.. and growing up more... (ekk.. the sound of that just doesn't sound fun... but hey.. its gotta happen sometime.. and i might as well do it when i have the support system that i do.... ) (ie... the bestest, pammi, megmo, steph, manders, ekay, cole, trina, tiff, debi, mark, nic, and matt....) |
